My Very 1st Time
by goddess123452003
Summary: My 2nd fic.Yay. I'll leave it up to you to interprete the tittles meaning. Kurt and Amanda grow closer but both have something to hide from the other. Will Amanda reveal her secret past to Kurt? Will Kurt ever be comfortable with Amanda on a deeper level?
1. Contemplating

_My Very First Time_

Amanda sat in her room quietly contemplating, well…life. Her life…well more specifically her love life with Kurt Wagner. The light from her lamp wasn't really the best, but it would suffice. She smiled sorting through pictures they had taken last week down in Bayville Park. Kurt was her everything: her shining star, her funny little gymnastic elf, her_ Liebe. _She was so in love with Kurt she would have sworn it hurt physically sometimes. 

The pictures showed the two of them hugging, kissing, swimming in the lake, and doing a number of other entertaining things. Putting the pictures into a neat stack, Amanda walked silently over to the window. Outside the busy nightlife of Bayville, New York paid no attention to the young girl studying them. The clock on her dresser flashed 11:18 in big, red, digital letters. Amanda knew both her parent were probably asleep by now, seeing as the both had to go to work bright and early the next day.

"Thank God", she thought. 

It wasn't that Amanda didn't love her parents; on the contrary, she loved them both greatly. They just didn't understand she and Kurt's relationship. Amanda sighed, remembering the god-awful dinner at which her parents had met Kurt. The night had been going fine in the beginning. Kurt looked handsome in a suit and tie, her parents were enjoying Kurt's company, and everything had been going great until…Todd "Toad" Tolensky had made his dashing entrance. 

The chaos that had ensued from that moment on was something that would forever be branded in Amanda's mind. The scuffle, the commotion, and finally the "unveiling", if that's what you could call it. Todd and Kurt had been wrestling, both trying to get the better of the other. Unfortunately, Todd won… his prize…Kurt's image inducer. When Kurt's true form had been revealed, Amanda's parents were for lack of a better word bewildered. Amanda's eyes tightened in pain as she remembered the intense look of shame upon Kurt's face. Let us just say, Amanda's parents were less than pleased that their daughter was dating a mutant. 

Amanda slammed her hands down on the dresser. They had forbidden her to see him! How dare they? Didn't they see how much she and Kurt cared for each other? However, she had continued to sneak out and see him, meeting him in secret. 

Stifling a yarn, Amanda glanced over at the clock; 11:32. 

"Time for me to be getting to bed don't ya think Blue?"

Blue was Amanda's pet fish. True to his namesake, Blue was a dark indigo "fighter" fish with streaks of fuchsia on his tail. Kurt had given him to her as a present for her seventeenth birthday, a week ago.  Amanda grinned as she remembered the occasion. Blue just continued to swim heedless of her question. 

{Flashback: Amanda's 17th Birthday (one week past)}

          Amanda lay on her bed chatting happily into the telephone. It had been a great birthday. Her mom had made a wonderful cake, her dad had bought her a car (a cherry 2004 "coupe" corvette to be exact), and her friends had been well…amusing. She'd gotten so many presents: candles, stuffed animals, scrapbooks, clothes, makeup, perfume, and money to name only a few. 

"So what did your hot little immigrant boyfriend get you? I bet it was something fah-bulous", Rhonda's high pitched voice asked. 

Amanda groaned, "For the last time he is not an immigrant. He's a foreigner. FOR-RIN-NER. Get it?

Rhonda continued dismissing her comment, "Anyways, what did he get you?"

Immediately Amanda's happiness went down a notch or two. It was true, it had been a wonderful birthday (she had the cake stains on her shirt to prove it), but something was missing. And that something was Kurt. She sighed knowing there was no way her parents would allow Kurt to see her, especially with so many people at the party. Swallowing Amanda forced herself to sound cheerful.

"O-of course, h-he got me something great", she lied, her voice wavering unsteadily.

"Uh huh", Rhonda's suspicion was apparent. "What?"

"Um….um"

Suddenly she couldn't hold back the dam of tears and they flowed freely down her face. 

"Oh honey, what happened?" Rhonda's soothing voice asked.

Amanda hesitated; she hadn't told Rhonda that Kurt was a mutant. It would have caused more trouble than good and she defiantly didn't want that. She had simply told Rhonda that parents were being strict and didn't want Amanda dating (but that she and Kurt continued to see each other secretly).  

Rhonda thought it was romantic, "Kinda like Romeo and Juliet", she said.

Through a series of hiccups and sniffles Amanda told Rhonda what had happened, excluding the fact that Kurt was a mutant. Rhonda sympathized with her friend whole-heartedly.

"It's alright girl, I'm sure Kurt would have been there if he could."

Amanda wasn't sure know about that. Kurt had a hectic schedule: school, studying, practice "sessions" with the team, etc. Sometimes it seemed he didn't have time for anything else, especially her. Every time she called him, she got just about the same message.

_{Earlier that week}_

_"Hey Kurt, so what's up? Are you doing anything tonight? Cuz I was thinking that maybe we could catch a movie later."_

_"Um Amanda I vould love to, but I have practice vith ze guys tonight, you know hov it is."_

_"Right…okay, catch ya later."_

_"Goodbye Meine Liebe Sieht, Sie bald."_

_"Huh?"_

_"Oops..sorry I slipped into Jerman, I said goodbye my love, see you soon._

_"Yeah…bye"_

Amanda hugged her knees weeping silently; lately it seemed she wasn't one of Kurt's top priorities. He hardly seemed to have time for her anymore. There was a time when Kurt would have come to her at the drop of a hat, now she was lucky if he said one word to her outside of school.

"Amanda...Amanda…hello? You there?" Amanda was pulled from her reverie by the concerned sound of her friend's voice. 

"Uh, yea sorry, I was kinda spacing out."

"You ok?"

"Yea, I'm good. I think I just need some time to think."

"You sure?" Rhonda asked skeptically.

"Yea, I'm sure."

"Alright you call me if you need anything, you hear me anything!"

Amanda smiled. "Yes mother, I'll call you if I need anything."

Rhonda giggled. "Okay if you're sure. I'ma see you later. K?

"Alright, bye gurl, and thanks."

"That's what friends are for, love ya Mandy. Bye."

"Love you Ronnie. Bye."

Amanda hung up the phone feeling slightly better. She turned on the TV. Flipping to the channel 8 news, she shrugged. "I might as well immerse myself in someone else's bad news." Stretching she laid out on her bed ready for today's latest events. However, try as she might, Amanda's mind kept straying from the TV to the face of one particular blue elf. 

"Damn him", she muttered, her face stuffed into her satin pillow. Looking at the TV, some woman had just plowed her husband into their house. She claimed she "accidentally" put the car in reverse. Amanda snorted. "Yea right…an accident my ass. People today" Thinking for a moment she laughed. "Who am I to talk? I'm dating a German guy with blue skin, three fingers, yellow eyes, Dracula fangs, and a tail. I definitely qualify as 'people today'." The image of Kurt's attractive elfish face drifted into her mind. 

Disinterestedly, she continued to watch about thirty more minutes then, shaking her head she turned off the TV. 

"Has Kurt even remembered my birthday?", she asked herself snuggling deeper into the warm covers. 

Tears pricked her eyes, "Well there's no use crying over spilled milk."

 Disheartened, Amanda pulled the covers over her head and prepared for sleep. Motionlessly she listened to the sound of the night, the blaring of ambulance sirens, the honking of car horns, and the shouts of drunks stumbling out of bars. 

**Tap! Tap! Tap!**

Something was hitting her window rather loudly. Her first thought, was that it was a pack of birds, that had nothing more to do, and then she realized that it was around midnight; there were no birds around. Curiously, Amanda shuffled from her warm position under the covers to the open window. Looking down she stared into two twin yellow eyes.

"Ahhhhh!" Frightened, she fell backwards onto the floor.    

**BAMF!**

Suddenly Amanda wasn't the only one in the room.

"Verdammt, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." 

 Thankfully, it was only Kurt. Although it was Kurt, the sight, or rather lack there of was unnerving. In the dark, Kurt totally blended into the shadows. The only thing Amanda could see were his glowing yellow eyes full of concern, marked with a hint of embarrassment. Even after knowing, what Kurt looked like the sight of him was still unsettling at times. Taking some deep breaths, Amanda smiled.

"No, no. It's alright; I just wasn't expecting you that's all." 

Embarrassed, Kurt helped her up. Amanda beamed inwardly, "He came, he came." Amanda felt like jumping up and down and doing cartwheels, but restrained herself. She didn't want Kurt thinking she'd lost her mind.

"Thanks…hold on a sec." Quickly Amanda turned on her lamp.

"There that's better." The sight of a handsome, flustered Kurt greeted her. Dressed in a pair of Levi's and a white tee, Kurt grinned. 

"Um…sorry to come so late. It's just zat, vell I didn't zink your pawents vould approve of me coming to ze door." Amanda nodded her eyes traveling the length of Kurt's lean body. Blushing, her focus returned to his face.

"It's alright, I'm really glad you came. For a minute there I thought you'd forgotten about me."

For a moment, Kurt was taken aback.

"F-f-or get about you? Never, Amanda. Hov could you zink zuch a ting?

Amanda shrugged. "Well you really haven't been paying much attention to me lately, so I figured…."

Kurt shook his head. "I'm sorry Amanda I velly am" Kurt ran his misshapen fingers through his long hair. "It's just I've been so busy vith….vell everyting, zat I kinda pushed aside vhat vas important to me ze most."

 Amanda's smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "Don't worry about it, its…okay." She turned away promptly. Kurt's heart wrenched at the look on Amanda's face. 

"And I caused it" he thought sadly. Standing behind her he snaked his arms around her waist, laying his face in her hair. She was shaking. Inhaling the scent of watermelon and jasmine, he sighed. 

"Amanda?"

"Y-yes?"

"You know you're the most important zing in my life right?

Silence.

Squeezing her gently Kurt continued. "I love you more zan life itself."

Slowly, Amanda turned around gazing into Kurt's adoring eyes. 

"Really?"

He nodded, "Velly, and I apologize for not treating you az zuch. But I promise it von't happen again."

Reaching up Amanda kissed Kurt deeply, her mouth exploring his, left the faint taste of grape jolly rancher when they parted. Amanda opened her eyes to see Kurt smiling smugly.

"Uh huh, I knew it. You can't keep you hands off me." Kurt winked. "Everyone loves ze fuzzy dude." Kurt proceeded to do the famous "Everyone Loves the Fuzzy Dude Dance". Amanda didn't even try and hold back her laughter. Kurt stopped.

"Ah, look I made you smile." Kurt brushed his thumb lightly across her jaw. Amanda shuddered involuntarily.

"You're beautiful vhen you smile. I mean you're alvays beautiful, but…" Kurt's thumb roamed over her bottom lip. "Your face really lights up vhen you smile." Amanda smiled trying desperately to ignore the erratic beating of her heart.

"Very Charming Elf, very charming."

Kurt did a mock bow and lightly kissed the back of her hand.

"I try Ms.Sefton, I try"

Amanda laughed.

"I'm sure…the effort must be tremendous."

Kurt made a faint swooning motion with his hand.

"Yes, az a matter of fact it iz, but I have zings zat help me along ze vay."

Amanda raised an eyebrow curiously.

Turning around Kurt bent down and produced a medium-sized pink and white gift bag. 

The words "**Thank you for shopping at Zale's**" were scrawled in big cursive writing along the top. 

Amanda's eyes widened her curiosity now at its peak. Craning her neck, she strained to see the contents of the bag. Kurt wagged his finger. 

"Nein, Nein, Nein Meine Liebe, not yet close your eyes."

Amanda scrunched up her face and pouted. Kurt put on his saddest puppy face.

"Damn I hate it when you do that." Nevertheless, Amanda obliged, closing her eyes. Kurt smirked.

"Vorks every time" he thought silently.

Without a sound, Kurt took out one of the contents from the bag. A small, black velvet felt case rested in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he opened the case. Inside laid a small gold chain no more than a few centimeters thick. At the end of the chain dangled a small diamond encrusted heart pendant. Saying a swift prayer in German, Kurt took the necklace from the box and placed it around Amanda's neck. Amanda flinched.

"Dang Kurt your hands are really cold."

Kurt smiled lopsidedly.

"I'm sorry"

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Nein, nein, just a moment."

Gently but forcefully, Kurt moved Amanda to stand in front of her full-length mirror.  

"Pleaz let her like it," he whispered softly.

"You can open your eyes now Liebe"

Kurt stepped back as Amanda's eyes opened. Her breath caught in her throat at the site of the trinket. A low wheezing sound emitted from the back of her throat. 

"Amanda vhats vhong?"

She felt Kurt tense behind her. Carefully, she raised one hand up to her throat and stroked the chain. It was so beautiful, so delicate, and so…perfect. 

Pausing in her appraisal of the necklace, Amanda turned around. Kurt's eyes were large with apprehension and…_fear_? It donned on her then, that Kurt was afraid of her disapproval. Amanda's heart constricted tightly.

 "He cares that much about me?" she asked herself. Inside Amanda already knew the answer. She had known the answer since the day of the dance when, she'd first met Kurt. Inside she knew without any doubt that Kurt Wagner loved her, and she in turn loved Kurt Wagner. 

"Mandy?" he asked expectantly.

Gently Amanda placed her finger upon Kurt's lips. 

"Shh", she said tenderly. Slowly she wrapped her arms around his waist. Kurt melted into her embrace. Cocking his head quizzically, he stared down at her.

"I love it, it's so beautiful. Thank you so much Kurt. I couldn't have asked for anything better."

Kurt relaxed visibly. 

"You're welcome, anyzing for you Meine Liebe, anyzing. Your vorth anyzing."

Amanda smiled and settled into his arms. Kurt laid his head into the smoothness of her hair. For a moment they stayed there, unmoving, enjoying the perfect ness of the moment. In that moment, they weren't mutant and non-mutant, girlfriend and boyfriend, nor were they Amanda Sefton and Kurt Wagner. No, for that one moment, that one perfect instant they were: One.

Their comfort was short lived, interrupted by the sound of Mr.Sefton's cry of pain.

"Damn…" The clash of metal echoed throughout the house.

"What's wrong dear?" Mrs.Sefton asked concern lacing her voice.

"Nothing…I just dropped the baking pot on my toe"

Amanda heard her mother's laughter. "You should try and be more careful, dear. You know how clumsy you are in the kitchen"

"Yea, I'm a regular Martha Stewart", Mr.Sefton muttered.

Sighing Kurt released his hold of Amanda. She made a small whimpering sound, and Kurt smiled.

"Vell I zink it iz time for me to be goving. Your pawents vould have a heart attack if they found me here, ja?"

Amanda tightened her hold on Kurt, whining. "Awww, I don't want you to leave." She sniffed his collar. "Besides you smell so good." Kurt chuckled and lightly removed Amanda's arms from his neck.

"Be zat az it may. We both know I can't stay. Besides I have to get back to ze mansion before anyone mizzez me."

Amanda rubbed her face into the softness of his shirt. 

"Don't go."

Closing his eyes Kurt suppressed a groan.

"Bitte Gott hergeben mich Stärke"(please god give me strength) Kurt begged.

"Meine Schönheit, you know I vould stay if I could, but our lives are two different. Zis is the way it haz to be right now. You understand, Ja?"

Amanda groaned, "Yea, I understand. But when will we be able to be together?" She looked at Kurt hopefully. 

Kurt kissed Amanda's forehead tenderly. "Soon… very soon, Meine Liebe, very soon. But I have to go vight now, ok?"

Amanda nodded.

"But before I go, I haven't given you my last prezent." Kurt reached into the bag again and took out its remaining contents. Smiling, Kurt held up a clear plastic bag.  Amanda was puzzled. Taking a closer look at the bag, she saw that in the left corner was a small fish sucking at the bend. Grinning, Kurt handed her the bag.

"Here Liebling, and I got him in blue juz so you wouldn't be lonely vhen I'm gone."

A salty tear escaped Amanda's eye. Kurt gently brushed it away.

"Now, Now Liebe zis is no time for tears. It's your birzday, a time to be happy. Nein?"  

Amanda sniffed and nodded mutely. She was afraid that if she spoke, than everything would disappear, the moment she and Kurt had just shared, the wonderful necklace, everything would be a dream.  

Startlingly, Kurt began to sing in a broken shrill voice.

"Happy birzday to you, happy birzday dear Mandyyyyy. Meine Liebe, happy birzday to yoooouuuuuu." Amanda laughed; Kurt was no American Idol that was for sure. Kurt kissed her forehead tenderly before backing towards the window. 

"Goodbye, Liebe. Parting iz such sveet sorrov"

"Who are you tellin'? Bye, Blue." Amanda crooned lovingly, blowing him a farewell kiss.

**BAMF! **

With that, Kurt was gone. Amanda then realized that "Blue" needed a place to sleep. She started for the door, and then stopped. What would her parents say? They would question her about where she'd gotten the fish. Then there would be a big mess. No, she couldn't go downstairs. Turning quickly, an idea suddenly dawned on her. 

Walking into the bathroom, she looked over into the tub. _Clean enough. _Running the water with one hand and holding Blue in the other, she managed to get the tub partially full. Sticking one finger into the water, she found it was about room temperature. Carefully, Amanda lifted the bag and deposited Blue into the water. He swam the length of the tub contentedly. 

Amanda laughed, "If this isn't the ghettoest aquarium." Getting up, she walked to the door pausing, she turned around. "Night, Blue". Turning off the bathroom light she went to bed. 

{Flashback: Present}

Amanda smiled and tapped Blue's bowl. She had decided he couldn't stay in her bathtub forever, and had gotten him a small fish bowl complete with a mini castle, mini plants, and even a mini-version of a scuba diver. It was late now; Amanda knew she would be tired tomorrow. Walking over to her bed, she kneeled down and clasped her hands together.

"Dear lord, thank you for waking me up this morning. Thank you for the food I ate, the air I breathed, and the blessings you bestowed on me. Thank you for letting me know the difference between right and wrong. I ask that you continue to bless and protect me as well as the people I love. Lord I pray that my parents one day accept Kurt and I's relationship, that Kurt realizes that he is not a demon, that he is beautiful and worthy of love. I pray that I like Kitty more tomorrow than I do today (cuz you know I can't stand the ground she walks on). Please continue to bless me and let me do your will. Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference just for today. These and many more blessings I ask in thy son's name Jesus Christ, Amen. With that, Amanda stood up and hopped into bed. 

Staring at the ceiling, Kurt's face materialized inside her mind. Lately, she'd been feeling differently towards him. She had wanted him more, and the urge to be around him was more intense. So intense that Amanda blushed, as an embarrassing feeling of pleasing warmth spread between her legs. Her dreams had quickly become elaborate fantasies that dominated her sleep. Before long, every time she saw him Amanda ruined a good pair of panties, and panty liners had become her new best friend. Amanda shifted.

"Oh what the hell," Closing her eyes, she let her imagination wander. Down, down, down…


	2. The Talk

The sunlight shining through her open window was the first thing in the day to piss Amanda off.  Rolling over, she pulled the covers tighter over her head. The radio was the second. 

Wake up New York! It's yo' man DJ Stylz, blazin' it up wit da hottest beats around. The current time is 7 o'clock on this hot Thursday mornin'. Time to get up and eat yo' mama's grits and bacon. Uhm…uhm I can smell it now. Well we'll be back in just a few minutes. Till then keep it tuned to your favorite radio stattttiiiooooonnnnn!!!!! 103.7 Hot Hitz!! Yea Baby! {Commercial starts}

Sticking a sluggish arm out of the covers, Amanda felt around for the "off" button on her radio. It was times like these when she was glad she was on summer vacation. Unfortunately, her aim left much to be desired and with a small thud, her radio hit the floor. 

"Damn", she muttered.

"Well at least that damn DJ isn't talkin'"

Groaning, she slid from her warm spot under the covers. Today was to be her "off" day, there was no school (summer vacation), no homework (thank Allah), and most importantly no Bayville High idiots to have to put up with! Life could be so sweet sometimes. With a deep yawn, she walked over and picked up the fallen radio. When she stretched, she affirmed that every bone in her body creaked. Looking around she saw that her room was as it was everyday, immaculate.

Amanda was proud of herself; she had decorated her room by single-handedly. Her parents had given her a lump sum of $2000, telling her not to spend it all in one place. The rest of the money she had gotten from her grandparents, friends, job, and neighbors. In all she'd had about 5,000(give or take) to work with. 

Amanda had even chosen a theme… "1950's glamour" The walls were painted a rich taupe with a trim of ivory. Pictures of Dorothy Dandridge, Elizabeth Taylor, and Marilyn Munroe dominated most of the free wall space.  She'd even taken painstaking time to make sure the plush carpet matched the walls. 

Amanda's queen-sized canopy bed was made of deep ivory stained wood and decorated with soft ivory silk covers and large fluffy pillows. On either side of her bed were small fawn colored cloth covered tables. One held a vase of roses (dead due to poor tending), the other supported Blue's fish bowl, and a journal complete with a black pen. The chandelier that hung above her bed was ornate but not overly decorative. To top it all off, she had a vanity specially made to go within the room. 

It was her prized possession, a handcrafted brass vanity, with a light up mirror and a small satin-covered vanity stool to go with it. Around, the inside frame of the mirror were some pictures of she and Kurt. One read: "To Meine Liebe, from Kurt", another read "Kurt&Amanda 4-ever". Yes, her room was definitely the place to be.

Walking into the bathroom, Amanda turned on the hot water and waited for the tub to fill up. Pouring a capful of bathing liquid, she waited as the tub filled with tepid water. Taking off her clothes, she slid into the soothing warm water. 

"Ahhhh."

Playful she squashed the bubbles and created patterns in the water. 

"Amanddaaaa?" Came a feminine voice from below. 

"Yea, mom, what's up?" Amanda yelled.

"Come downstairs when your dressed, your father and I need to talk to you."

Amanda mentally sighed; this could not be good, though her mother didn't sound particularly angry. 

"O.K."

Amanda slid deeper into the water. She couldn't help but wonder what her mother and father had to say this time. 

"Well there's no use in putting it off."

Taking her washcloth, she gently lathered it up with lever 2000 and started to bathe. Amanda knew it was time to get out, when she saw the bathroom mirror get cloudy with steam. 

"Don't wanna look like a dried raisin."

Step out of the tub she let out the water and wrapped a towel around her body. Walking out of the bathroom, she plopped down on her bed, lotion in hand and began to rub the oil into her skin. Once done, she stood and dropped the towel. The cool breeze hit her nude body and she shivered a little. Turning around in a semi-circle, she let the gust hit her entire body.

Staring down at her now hard nipples, she sat in front of her vanity. Amanda's long black hair (via extensions) laid flat and dripping against her back. Her sepia skin glistened with drops of oil and water. Her well-sculpted face with its almond eyes, high-cheekbones and full lips smiled smugly at the site of her reflection. Staring down she appraised her long lean arms and lengthy well-built legs.

"It's so good to be me," Amanda thought vainly. 

Continuing her appraisal, Amanda's sight landed on her curvaceously plump breasts. Amanda could honestly say that they were her best assets. Well Kurt seemed to like them…a lot. On second thought, Kurt seemed to like just about everything. She just hoped that they wouldn't get so big that when she was an old person they'd drag on the ground (she had seen it happen with her own and eyes, and it wasn't a pretty sight). Squeezing her left breast lightly, she noticed her nipple was now a tightly formed bud.

Before her mind could overreact at the slight sensation of pleasure, Amanda averted her eyes to her smooth stomach. It had taken many re-runs of "Tae-bo 3 minute abs", but in the end, it had been worth it. From her stomach, her gaze proceeded to her thighs and the thick mass of black curls that rest there. Surprisingly only one thought hit her.

"Time for another bikini wax."

Amanda laughed at her own dim thoughts. Again, she heard a yell from downstairs. Her little exploration stopped at her rounded hips.

"Ammmaaaaannnddaaaa!"

Amanda rolled her eyes and responded, "Yes, mom?" 

"Let's get a move on, baby."

Amanda mumbled a few choice words under her breath before responding. "Here I come!"

Hastily, she put on her deodorant, powder, and perfume. For a moment, she was confused as to whether to wear "White Diamonds" or "Passionate Kisses". 

"Hmm….Passionate kisses smells more ...summery. So passionate kisses it is." Taking the Victoria Secret product, she splashed a splash on her neck and wrist.  Opening one of her vanity drawers, she took out a sapphire blue thong with jewels at the sides. _Panties were so constricting and thongs were just plain sexy._ Digging deeper into the drawer she pulled out the matching bra (also decorated with small rhinestones). Putting on her underwear, Amanda walked quickly over to her closet. Opening the doors, she found that her clothes weren't necessarily in disarray but they weren't exactly tidy either.

"Mental note to self: clean closet."

Moving some outfits out of the way, she found exactly what she was looking for. Amanda gave a critical eye to her outfit. It was simple, white ribbed beater, a white long sleeved cotton button-down shirt, a pair of blue daisy dukes.

"Thank God, I got this ready yesterday." Amanda said appreciative of the fact that her shirt held no wrinkles.

Throwing the outfit on swiftly (making sure to tie the shirt up so that her attractive belly was exposed), Amanda surveyed herself decisively in the mirror.   

Grabbing a pair of socks, Amanda made her way to the bottom of her closet. Thinking hurriedly, she chose a pair of plain white tennis shoes (which by the grace of God were already clean). Throwing her shoes on Amanda rushed back to her vanity. Opening the small jewelry box that rested on her dresser, Amanda took out her over-sized "Jody Wately", silver, hoop earrings.   

Putting them on, she grabbed her bronze Chanel sunglasses. Laying the glasses down, Amanda sat at her vanity again. Snatching a comb and brush from the drawer, Amanda carefully combed her damp hair, wary not to get it tangled. Once done she repeated the process with the brush. Taking the blue elastic ponytail holder, Amanda brushed her hair up, and secured it into a simple high ponytail, that hung to the middle of her back. 

Smiling, she brushed the back of the ponytail and rubbed some gel on it to keep her hair straight. Taking one last glance in the mirror Amanda grabbed her purse, bracelets, and ran down the stairs.

"Ump" was the only thing heard as Amanda tripped and hit the floor. Her mother chuckled, "You really ought to be more careful you know. You could hurt yourself". Standing up, Amanda brushed herself off.

"Really, mom? I didn't know. Thanks for the warning", she replied sarcastically.

Mrs. Sefton just laughed and walked into the living room. Amanda followed mumbling about "new-age moms". Mr. Sefton was sitting on his blue Lazy boy reading the Bayville Times and drinking coffee. Mrs. Sefton had busied herself, heaping food onto the already set table. 

"Aren't we just the all perfect picture of the All-American family?" Amanda thought to herself. 

"Hey daddy," she said throwing her arms around her father's neck. 

"Hey, Honey…good morning."

"Morning to you too dad."

Mr. Sefton was a tall, beefy man in his late 40's. With a balding head, glasses, and a pudgy stomach that hinted at one-to-many super bowl beers. He was a respectable, hardworking man who supported his family.

"Now if only he weren't such a bigot", Amanda thought sadly.

Contrastingly, Mrs. Sefton was a slender gracefully woman in her early 40's, who did not look a day over 30. Her African dress was also a sharp contrast to her husband's XL tee shirt and jeans. Not to mention she had the appetite of a bird. Amanda shrugged, chalking up their differences to the fact that her mother was Jamaican, while her father was a pure hot-dog eating, football-bred American.  

Walking over to the table Amanda sat down in front of a plate loaded with eggs, toast, and bacon. Picking up her fork, she prepared to dive in. Then, catching her mother's sharp look decided against it and laid down the fork. 

"And take those sunglasses off in this house." Amanda obliged her mother promptly.

"Baby breakfasts ready."

Amanda's father grunted as he lifted himself from his seat and sat at the table. Yanking Amanda's ponytail playfully, he folded his hands in prayer. Amanda and her mother did likewise. After saying a quick prayer, Mr. Sefton dug into his food. Gracefully, her mother also began eating. Amanda looked uneasily between her parents before eating.

Mrs. Sefton glanced at her husband, who in turn glanced at her. Mr. Sefton was the first to clear his throat.

"Amanda, your mother and I need to talk to you about something."

Amanda stopped eating and listened.

"Yea?"

"Your mother and I are going away for the weekend, for a little us time. We decided to take a trip to Canada" Out of the corner of her eye Amanda, saw her mother blush.  Mr. Sefton continued, "And since you're on summer vacation, it'll be your duty to stay here and watch the house."

Amanda could scarcely believe her ears. Her eyes had gone as big as saucers and her mouth was gaping like a hooked fish. 

It was her mothers turn to speak. "Darling, you just turned seventeen and we think your old enough to be responsible and take care of the house while were gone."

Amanda could barely contain her excitement. She'd never been allowed to stay home alone for a whole weekend. 

"Mandy, that doesn't mean you can go buck wild." Mr. Sefton chided. "There are still rules and regulations you must follow. Number one: no parties, number two: no leaving the house without calling us first, and number three: no immense money spending. Understand?" 

Amanda only nodded mutely. Mr. Sefton sat back, "Good. Well then the house is all yours, as of tonight." 

"What?" Amanda all but screamed.

"Your father and I will be leaving tonight honey. Our plane leaves at 10 o'clock tonight. We leave tonight and return next Monday. We have everything already planed, there are emergency numbers on the refrigerator, money in our bedroom (but don't go crazy), and our cell phone numbers in case you need to reach us."

Amanda quickly feigned affront, "What, I'm not a little kid, mom I can take care of myself. Hello, I'm seventeen here."

Mrs. Sefton smiled, "We know that honey that's why we're letting you stay her alone. Nevertheless, we still want to take precautions just to be on the safe side."

"Yes your mother and I just don't want anything to happen to our baby girl." Mr. Sefton affectionately squeezed Amanda's cheek. Amanda quickly assessed her time. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She had ten days of complete independence.

"Oh and we left our triple a card, just in case you need it. With you having a car and all now." Mr. Sefton said through a mouthful of eggs. 

Amanda's eyes lit up, she loved her corvette. She'd been driving it around so much that she paid for more gas than anyone else in the house. It was her prized possession (the vanity comes in 2nd). Mrs. Sefton gave Amanda a small squeeze on the arm. "Be careful, ok?"

Amanda smile reached her ears, "I will."

Mr. Sefton nodded. "It's settled then. We'll leave and then we'll call you if when we get there."

Amanda got up and hugged each of her parents. "You know I really love you guys." Her father grunted, "Uh huh, when we're doing something that you like!" Amanda hadn't heard. She had abandoned her plate, put on her sunglasses and was headed towards her car with keys in hand. The only thing that kept running through her mind was "No parents, no supervision, just **freedom**!"


	3. Ridin' high

Bounding down the porch steps, Amanda walked no ...bounced to the car. She was literally floating on cloud nine. Spinning around she admired the flowers in there garden. Her parents were going away for a whole weekend and they were leaving her in charge. Could it get any better? Amanda seriously doubted it. All weekend to do entirely what she wanted. Oh yea!  Nothing could kill her high today. Pausing in front of the car, she surveyed for any scratches, dents, or bird crap that might have marred her baby.  Satisfied, Amanda opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. 

The smell of warm leather greeted her nose. The car's interior was almost better than its exterior. With a four speaker stereo system, leather covered _everything_, and six disc Cd changer the corvette was a perfect car.  Strapping on her seat belt (safety first), Amanda took a last glance in her rearview mirror and started the ignition. 

Backing out of the drive way she was zooming down the street, watching the endless scene of perfectly manicured homes, people mowing there lawns, and children playing hopscotch. 

"This celebration calls for some tunes." 

At the next red light, Amanda dug through her Cd holder. "No, that's not, it…yep, nope, that's not it either, oh here it is."

With one hand on the wheel, she used the other to put in the Cd. Pressing the "play" button she sped through the next light.

_Somebody hit the lights   
So we can rock it day and night   
People gettin down, that's right...from AM to PM   
Everybody lookin' like stars   
All the chicks and the fellas in the bars   
All of y'all bumpin' this in your cars...from AM to PM_

Amanda bobbed her head in time to the music. Letting the breeze in from the open window she cruised down the road.

_Everybody wanna get down, when ya hear the sound and ya bump the beat   
3-65 days a year, 24 a day, 7 days a week   
Now when you're drivin' in your 4 x 4 and u turn this up on your stereo   
Whether night or day, nonstop ya play, and u know u still want more, so...  _

Amanda lip-synch the song. The beat coursed through her body and she couldn't help but bob her head. Slowing down she came to a stop at the next red light. 

_Find a honey that's standing on the wall   
All the girls get their guys on the floor   
From the front 2 the back, let's go, hear this..._

Halting, she rested next to a clean, gleaming, green Durango. It's driver a tall lean high school student with blond hair and freckled skin. Amanda recognized him from school his name was…Blake. Blake Holden. He was on the football team with Duncan Matthews. Not surprisingly, he was looking through his car window with more than a little interest in Amanda. __

_Somebody hit the lights   
So we can rock it day and night   
People gettin down, that's right...from AM to PM   
Everybody lookin' like stars   
All the chicks and the fellas in the bars   
All of y'all bumpin' this in your cars...from AM to PM_

          Amanda continued to dance, oblivious of the man's stares. Everyone in a while she checked to make sure the light hadn't changed. 

"Hey!" he said loudly, nodding his head in Amanda's direction.

 "Hey yourself!" Amanda nodded back, returning her attention back to the music. 

_Everybody in the club, c'mon, keep bobbin' ya head now 2 this song   
Ya got the beats and breaks, and ya body's shakin', we're doin' it all night long   
Any time or place, any place or time, no we don't need no sleep   
3-65 days a year, 24 a day, 7 days a week, so..._

Blake was just about to try to strike up a conversation when the light turned green. Amanda and her cherry corvette sped off without a backwards glance.

"Damn", Blake muttered before pulling off and turning the corner. "That was one piece of ass I would have liked to tap."


	4. Spreadin the news

Amanda drove the streets until she came upon her destination. Turning, into the large driveway Amanda drove her past to the massive gates. The size and beauty of the mansion still amazed Amanda to this day. Xavier's Institute for gifted students was colossal.  A monumental mansion surrounded by lush gardens, swimming pools, and recreational areas.    

"God, it must kill to live here", Amanda thought parking in front of the entrance and stepping out of the car.  

          Adjusting her shades Amanda walked to the front door. But just before she could grasp the knob two blobs of color came speeding past her. 

"What the---," Amanda thought.

"Bobby, stop. I'm nowt kidin. Cut it out!"  Rogue's southern drawl cut through the air.

"Oh Roggguuueeeee!"

          Bobby chased Rogue down the driveway, blasting small pellets of ice. Rogue screamed ducking and dodging aerial ice. Amanda laughed...it was the "icemaker" and the southern belle a.k.a Bobby and Rogue at it again. Laughing, Amanda continued watching the scene before her.

          Amanda liked Rogue, she was…different. And Amanda liked different. Unexpectedly, she and Rogue had become good friends after she'd began dating Kurt. They found they actually had a lot in common: they both were independent, hated gut bombs, and disliked Kitty's voice with a passion. To Amanda Rogue was like the little sister she'd never had. 

To Rogue Amanda was just cool and understanding, plus she didn't push her to talk about things she didn't want to. It was a very unlikely friendship. On weekends, they'd sometimes go to clubs or have a "girls night in".  Amanda and Rogue had gotten even closer when the mutants at Bayville High had been identified. Many of Amanda's so-called "friends" had turned against her for "loving a mutie".

          Rogue stopped screaming long enough to notice someone was laughing. Looking over she spotted a fashionably dressed Amanda.

**Splat!**

          Rogue instantly realized her mistake as one of Bobby's ice pelts hit her right in the face. Small flakes of ice ran down her face and Bobby double over with laughter. Now she was mad Turning around she chased Bobby relentlessly, until finally she tackled him. Amanda felt tears fall from her eyes as both Rogue and Bobby crumpled into a heap in the grass. Snatching her gloved hand off Rogue quickly and touched Bobby's cheek. Pulling back, she stood up triumphantly.

          Immediately Bobby regretted throwing the snow pellet. 

"Damn", he muttered. "I'm in for it now."

          As if she had read his mind, Rogue suddenly blasted Bobby with a wave of ice that sent him rolling across the lawn. 

"Ouch," Amanda thought sympathetically. "That's gotta hurt." 

          Booby groaned and lay sprawled on the grass. Rogue smiled sadistically.

"I give! For the love of God Rogue I give!" Bobby panted.

"I'ah thought you would."  

          Taking one last look at a defeated Bobby, Rogue rushed over to Amanda. Amanda tried to collect herself. 

"Hey Mandy, what's up. Come to see Kurt?

"Yeah I came to see Kurt but I also wanted to talk to you. Thought I'd drop by with the good news?

"What news?" Rogue asked curiously. 

Amanda smiled, "Why don't we go inside, away from prying ears." Rogue nodded taking a glance at Bobby who was still knocked out on the grass. Blowing Bobby a kiss, Rogue and Amanda walked inside. Walking up the staircase Rogue noticed Amanda's outfit and the expense of skin showing through it. For a moment, she was hit with a slight feeling of envy. 

"I'ah like your outfit. An' yer shades are cool."

Amanda stopped walking. "Thanks, I just bought the top and the shorts from Lady Blue. The sunglasses are Chanel." She said pointing to the small symbol at the corner of the rims. "I like yours too, very fashionably-Goth." Amanda said indicating the black velour jumpsuit and white tennis Rogue had on. Rogue nodded and they continued to her room. 

The halls were strangely silent and empty. 

"Where is everybody Rogue?" Amanda asked inquisitively. 

Rogue shrugged stepping into her room. "I guess ever'y body had sometin to do." Looking around Amanda was surprised to find the room empty.

"Kitty?'

"Oh, she's on a date with her Lancey-poo" Rogue said making a gagging noise in her throat. 

"Well that's good, so then she won't _like _be hanging around _like _us" Amanda responded using Kitty's valley girl accent.

Rogue snickered, "You're terrible Amanda."

Amanda shrugged nonchalantly "I know."

Rogue sat on her bed and patted the space next to her. Happily, Amanda plopped down next to her. 

"So , what's tha big news that's got you grin'n from ear to ear like a chess cat?"

Amanda's smile if possible widened. "You're not going to believe me when I tell you."

"Try meh"

Amanda took a deep breath. "My parents are leaving for the weekend on vacation." 

Rogue nodded expectantly, "Yea?" 

Amanda paused for a second, leaning forward. "And…."

"And wat?" Rogue asked impatiently.

"And...Their leaving me in charge for the whole week."

Rouge's eyes nearly popped out of her skull and she was speechless. In moments, she collected herself, grinning.

"Oh my gawd. That is so cool!" Amanda and Rogue looked at each other gleefully before jumping up into the air and shrieking.  Almost immediately Jean, Kurt, and Wolverine burst through the door in fighting stances.  Rogue and Amanda paused in mid-air.

Sniffing, Logan looked around the room suspiciously. After a thorough inspection, he re-sheathed his claws. Kurt smiling happily, bamfed over to Amanda. Jean just shook her head.

"Amanda…you're here. Wunderbar! But vhy are you here?" Kurt asked glomping Amanda.

"Whoa, down boy." Amanda laughed gently shoving a clinging Kurt away from her.

"Yea, I'd like to know the same thing, and why you and Rogue here are screamin' your heads off." Wolverine gruffly voiced. 

Rogue bowed her head; it wasn't often that she acted hyper and excited…very rarely. Amanda was the first to speak, "Um..yea sorry about that. Guess we got a little carried away." Wolverine only grunted. 

"But you still love me don't ya loggie (pronounced Low-Gee)" Amanda said jumping up and throwing her arms around his neck pouting. 

Kurt at that moment Kurt was thankful that his skin was blue, so it was impossible to see the deep blush that stained his cheeks at the site of Amanda's bouncing, barely clad ass. Quickly, Kurt averted his eyes.  Jean following Kurt's gaze, raised an eyebrow inquisitively. Taking a dive into Kurt's thoughts, it was now Jeans turn to blush.

"Yea, yea kid. Now could ya let go'a me?"

Amanda pecked Logan's cheek before returning to her spot next to a flushed Kurt.  Jean just smirked.

"Try to be a little less loud, next time."

          Amanda and Rogue nodded solemnly. Still red with embarrassment, Jean turned and walked out of the room. Shaking his head Wolverine turned around to hide the grin that crossed his lips. He'd too seen the view that Kurt had when Amanda had returned to her position on the bed. 

"Nice ass" wolverine whispered inaudible to anyone but himself, as he walked out of the room. 

          Taking a small glance out of the door, Amanda returned smiling exultantly. Kurt smiled in spite of himself, trying to keep his roaming glance to the more covered places of her body. 

"Yeah, now I can tell you my good news too."

"Vat good nevs?"

          Rogue and Amanda eyed each other with grins plastered on their faces.

"Oh you're gonna like this."

Kurt smiled, wondering what the "good news" was.

"My parents are leaving for a week."

"Ja?"

"And their putting me in charge."

"Vhat?"

"Yep, no parents, no homework, I have the whole house to myself."

"Velly, vov. Zat's so cool. But didn't your pawents put you on lock down?"

          Amanda flopped onto Rogue's bed. "Yea, they were like 'No parties, no money spending, and blah blah blah. She shrugged.  "You know how it is, the usual parent stuff." Kurt nodded understandingly. 

"But do you think I'm actually going to listen? Hah." 

          Rogue gave Kurt a short laugh. "That's sum girlfriend you've got there. Question iz can you handle 'er." Kurt's mouth held a devilish grin as he looked towards Amanda. "Vhy I do believe zo, I veally do."  Amanda crawled across the bed until she was situated only a breath away from Kurt's face. Throwing her legs around his waist, she stared him in the eyes. 

             "You do Mr. Wagner?" Amanda asked teasingly, gently forcing Kurt onto his back so that her position of dominance was evident. From Kurt's downward position, he could see all of Amanda's budding cleavage. A sight he enjoyed immensely. Licking his lips he countered, "I do." Liking the position she was in, Amanda scooted further upwards so that she rested on Kurt's pelvis. "Are you positive Mr. Wagner?" Rogue turned away at the sight of their intimate pose, a pang of envy and jealousy striking once again. 

          "Very" Kurt retorted raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

          "Alright then, show me."

          Kurt had never been one to back away from a challenge (unless instructed by the professor) and he wasn't about to start anytime soon. Sitting up, Kurt grabbed a handful of her black hair and kissed her deeply. Catching her breath, Amanda opened her eyes to see Kurt smiling victoriously.

"I believe I juz proved my point, Ja?"

          Amanda nodded breathlessly, her lips still tingling from his kiss. Amanda then noticed a so not-unpleasant hardness beneath her. Tenderly, she nibbled on Kurt's neck and felt the hardness beneath her increase. She took it as a good sign when Kurt groaned. Rogue coughed a little louder than necessary. 

"I have also proved mine," Amanda whispered as she slid of a now very aroused Kurt.   Frantically, Kurt grabbed a nearby pillow and covered his lower body. Amanda laughed, while Rogue twisted her face in disgust.

"You guys. Need to git a room." 

          Kurt blushed and quickly bamfed out of the room. Amanda stared at Rogue disapprovingly. 

"See there? You frightened 'm off."

Rouge let out a very unladylike snort. "No I'ah didn't. You frightened 'em off by makin' dat bulge in his pants." Amanda cocked her head quizzically, "What do you mean, I did it? Jus cuz he got a hard-on?" Rogue sighed and turned around to face Amanda. "Amanda, I'ah like you and you're really good for Kurt. I'ah mean he really loves you." Amanda beamed. "But," Rogue continued. "You're tha first women he's ever been with ya know?" 

"Yea, Kurt told me I'm his first love."

Rogue took a deep breath. "No I mean that too, but you're the first women whose eva stirred up um…feelin's inside 'm." Amanda's eyes widened in realization, "You mean…Kurt's a virgin?" Rogue nodded. 

"Well that would explain, why he always a perfect gentleman. Even when were alone."

Rogue looked up hesitantly, "Are you a virgin?" Amanda was startled by the question. She played it off, "Of course. Still wanting for the right guy to come along and sweep me off my feet." Rogue smiled, "That's nice." 

"Yea", Amanda replied with a dreamy look in her eyes. "And I believe I might have just found him. And I promise I'm gonna knock his socks off!" Rogue understood her meaning and wondered what she had in mind. Before she could question Amanda, Kurt bamfed back in. He strutted towards them in only a pair of black swim trunks and a stone choker Amanda remembered buying him at a garage sale.


	5. Nobody wants to be lonely

"Come, let's go out to ze pool." Kurt pleaded tugging her arm. Amanda looked at him in disbelief. "I don't have a bathing suit. And you want me to come to the pool in this outfit?" Amanda shook her head. "I don't think so. Can you say J-LO?"  Kurt rolled his eyes and pulled Amanda to the door. 

"Don't vorry I have it covered."

"Wait a minute," Amanda said meekly struggling in Kurt's grasp.  "Shouldn't we ask Rogue if she wants to come?" Amanda said turning to Rogue. Kurt shot Rogue a pleading look and shook his head. Rogue put on a false smile. "Nah, it's alright I'm fine. Plus I wanna enjoy this time while Kitty ain't here." 

"You sure?"

"Yea. You two kids have fun."

          Kurt mouthed the words "thank you" and smiled a large fanged grin.

"Alright, if you're sure. See ya Rogue." With that, Amanda allowed Kurt to drag her out to the pool.

"Bye." Rogue said to the now vacant spots where Kurt and Amanda had once stood. Shaking her head a single tear ran down her pale cheek. A tear for the romance she would never have, the hugs and kisses she would never share, and the man she would never love.  Looking down at her gloved hands she mentally cursed her mutation. Taking out her journal, she wrote:

A Sight that can never be seen,

A feeling that can never be felt,

A whisper that can never be heard,

A taste that can never be savored. 

          Stopping she looked over her writing. As an extra thought, she added. 

**Now I know just how Helen Keller felt.******

          Sighing she tried to focus on something less depressing. Outside she heard Amanda squeal. Hmm, what had Amanda meant by her statement? What did she have planned? Rogue didn't know but she was curious as hell to find out. 

          Amanda made Kurt stop at the edge of the pool.  "Alright", she said placing a hand on her hip. "Where's this bathing suit you promised me?" Kurt smiled. "You are mistaken my lady, I never promized you a bazing zuit." Amanda gave him an evil eye. "Yes, you did you said you'd take care of it. So where is it?" 

"You knov you look so beautiful vhen you're angry."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Don't try to be suave with me Mister. Now where is it? Cuz I'm dead serious, I am not getting in the pool with these clothes on." Kurt shrugged nonchalantly, "Then take them off." Amanda eyed him suspiciously. "I don't have anything on under here and you know it." With a splash Kurt dove into the pool, resurfacing he stared at Amanda. "You have on undervear, don't you? Alzough the prozpect of you not having any on is very, shall we say...interesting."  

"Kurrrrrttttt," Amanda whined.

Swimming towards the edge of the pool Kurt limbed out. Beads of water ran down his body and Amanda tried hard not to follow there trail. 

"So what'd ya zay? Ze water is very nice. Bezides zeres no one around. Come on." Kurt said beckoning towards the water.

"But what about Logan and Jean? Not to mention Rogue could come out here at any moment."

"Zere all buzy. Zey won't bother uz."

 The thought was tempting and Kurt's smile (as well as his body) was beguiling. Releasing her inhibitions, Amanda began to strip off her clothes. 

"Turn around." She said motioning to a now floating Kurt. Kurt's face took on the look of a small abandoned child. 

"Aww…do I have to? Ze viev from here iz incredible."

Thinking of the earlier incident, Amanda conceded. "Alright, you can watch." Never breaking eye contact with Kurt she leisurely she took off her shirt, followed by her shorts and sneakers. Until, she was clad only in bra and panties. Meanwhile Kurt's mouth had gone dry as a dessert and his body was starting to react with surprising quickness. Shrugging, Amanda allowed her bra straps to fall away. She saw Kurt's eyes center on her completely.    

Reaching behind her, she unhooked her clasps and the bra fell away.  Mischievously Amanda hooked her thumbs into the sides of her panties and drew them bit by bit down to her knees. She was enjoying to bodily pain she was causing Kurt. With a last push, the panties were discarded.  Kurt's eyes widened and he could feel the hardness between his legs start to rise. Testing the water with her toe Amanda dove in. When she resurfaced, a smiling Kurt awaited her.

"Nov, vas zat zo hard?" Kurt asked, his voice wavering. 

"No, I think this is," Amanda's hands encircled Kurt's rigid shaft. She could feel Kurt immediately tensed up.

**BAMF!** Kurt was gone. "Damn," Amanda mumbled slapping the surface of the water. "So close yet so far. What are you so afraid of Kurt?" Amanda whispered into the still wind.  Looking up she saw the Sun setting an appealing golden-brown over the trees.  Sliding out of the water she quickly rushed into her clothes.  


	6. All my fault

Kurt sat in his room, his breathing heavy. He just finished relieving the need between his legs, into the small toilet in his bathroom. Going to the window, he saw the image of his temptation getting dressed. Turning away, he looked at his heated reflection in the mirror. His long black hair hung wet and limp across his shoulders. His eyes shone with wariness that Kurt knew lay deep in his soul. His body was still trembling, and Kurt was more than disgusted with himself.

He was sickened with the way Amanda made him feel. No, it was not her fault, Kurt reasoned. It was his own. His fault for the appalling fantasies about her, his filthy mind created, and the way his body responded to her every move.

"Ja, my fault. All meine fault."

Kurt did not understand, rather he did not _want_ to understand his new feelings. Of course, Kurt knew all about the birds and the bees, but his feelings were more intense than animals and insects. Amanda was the first woman who'd sparked these type feelings inside of him. And they scared him to death. Even his crush on Kitty hadn't produced such feelings.  "But," Kurt reasoned with himself. "Kätzchen izn't vorking vith half of vhat Amanda iz." A small smile graced his lips. 

He was referring to Amanda's large voluptuous ass and round soft breasts, he had seen only moments before. "Oh, Keety is definitely lacking in zose areaz," he thought.  Everyone in the mansion knew Kitty was about a size zero with the figure of a starved refugee. She was a vegetarian and complained all the time of "getting fat". Kurt hated that, flesh on a women was a good thing. "Bah, ze's ameircanz and zere wayz." Kurt ran a hand through his hair. He often questioned how he could be attracted to such opposites. It was true; Amanda and Kitty were complete opposites. 

To start, Amanda was black with flawless brown skin. While Kitty was Californianly white, with pastel skin made tan with self-tanner. Even the way they talked was different, Kitty in her whiney valley girl accent and Amanda with her seductive flirty tone.  They dressed differently, Amanda wore anything designer and stayed up with the trends, while Kitty mostly stuck to her simple signature pink sweater (which she hated Kurt's fur to get on), and gray skirt.

Shaking his head Kurt turned to the window once more, Amanda was nowhere to be seen.  Swiftly, Kurt bamfed beside the pool.  Looking around that sight that greeted him was one of placid nature. No Amanda. 

"Verdammant, I must have scared her off."

Sighing, he looked down at the tiny piece of paper that was floating beside the pool.  Picking it up, it read:

_Dear Kurt, _

_I had to go. Sorry, If I scared you, I didn't mean too. I have to home. Hope you can come over sometime this week. I really wanna spend some time with you. Remember I love you._

_                                                                                       -------Mandy_

Crumpling up the soggy paper Kurt threw the note into the bushes. 

"It's my fault Meine Freulin, all meine."… Sorrowfully, he walked back into his room. He had to find some way to make it up to her.  But first, he needed to consult his bible, today was a cause for about fifty Hail Mary's.  It was going to be a long night.


	7. The Plan

Amanda rushed back to her car and speed off towards home.  Her mind was a jumble of confusion. She had so much to think about. Did Kurt want her? Did he not want her? Was he afraid? 

"Maybe it's the fact that he's catholic." Amanda knew about Kurt's religion and knew how devout he was; she never wanted to do anything to change that. Whatever the reason, Amanda wanted Kurt and she wanted him badly.  Nothing would stand in her way. Miraculously, a plan of action formed in her head. Taking out her cell phone, she dialed Rogue. 

"Please pick up." Amanda pleaded silently.

_Brrrring…._

_Brrrring…._

_Brrrring…._

_Brrrring…._

_Brrrring…._

_"Hallo?"_

_Amands breathed a sigh of relief. "Hello, Rogue?"_

_"Hey Amanda, wut's up? What happened wit you and Kurt earlier, he seems really…out of it."_

_Amanda sighed heavily. "Yea, I know. That's what I'm calling about. Meet me at my house ASAP. I think I just figured out how to make Kurt really happy."_

_Rogue heard Amanda's emphasis on happy and her curiosity was peaked. "What do ya mean?"_

_"Well get over here and I'll tell you. I need your help."_

_Rogue was stunned, Amanda needed her help? Oh, this had to be good. "Ah'ma be right o'er."_

_Amanda smiled. "Thanks Rogue."_

_"No problem. See ya in a minute."_

_"K." They both hung up the phone. _Rogue rushed around her room straightening up some of the mess. Kitty still wasn't home, that gave her time to sneak out without being "ratted out". Rogue knew that leaving the mansion could have dire consequences, but she did not care. Putting on her black trench coat, she stole quietly into the hallway. Pausing in front of Kurt's doorway, she quietly knocked. 

"Vho iz it?"

Kurt didn't feel at all too happy to receive company. 

"It's me Rogue. Let mey in."

Kurt slumped further into the pillows. Why couldn't they just leave him alone.

"Go avay, I vant to be alone."

Rogue rolled her eyes. "I'ah know, just let me in for a minute, that's all."

Unwillingly, Kurt opened the door. "Vhat?"

Without pause rogue put an un-gloved hand to his cheek. Almost instantly, Kurt fell to the floor. Silently, Rogue carried him back over to the bed and tucked him in. She hadn't taken enough power to knock him out he was only dazed. Kissing him quickly she rushed out of the door; she'd gotten what she come for. 

"I'm sorry. This is for your own good (I hope)."With that she bamfed into the darkness of the night. 

Amanda rushed into the house after parking the car. Barely uttering a 'Hello' to her parents, she raced upstairs into her bedroom and slammed the door. Mrs. Sefton stood at the bottom of the stairs wondering what had gotten into her teen daughter. She quickly shrugged it off she had bags to pack. 

Amanda got out a notepad and pen. Moving them to the side, she knew they would be needed later. Walking to the window Amanda gazed out at the dark azure sky. When would Rogue arrive? Biting her nails Amanda knew she had to go through with her plan. The only problem was, when the time came would she have the courage to follow through with it. Turning her attention to something less stressing, she walked over to her bed. Bending down she rummaged through the stacks of _Seventeen, J-14, InStyle, Cosmogirl, _and _Sophisticate's Black hair _until she found the magazine she had been searching for. It was the 2002 Christmas issue of Victoria's Secret. 

Rogue was tired of teleporting. Amanda didn't live that far from the mansion, but she wasn't versed in the ways of a skilled teleporter. She had already teleported into some not-so-cozy areas. Finally, she was beneath Amanda's window. Brushing small leaves and twigs off her cloak she teleported once more, to the window.  Urgently Rogue tapped on the glass window. Amanda rushed and opened the window. The cool breeze and a disheveled Rogue entered the room.

Amanda immidately helped her to the bed. Giving her a quick hug, she smiled. "Thank you Rogue, I don't think I could do this without you."

Brushing off the last leaf Rogue grinned, "And jus wat is it that you can't do wit'out mey?

Amanda's excitement showed in her every move Rogue had not failed to notice the catalog, notepad, and pen on her bed. Was this part of "the plan"? Looking to the alarm clock, Rogue saw it was only 6:30. She would leave no later than nine o'clock. Rogue looked down at her black cloak and clothing, looking at Amanda's state of dress she felt out of place. While waiting for Rogue, Amanda had changed into her pj's. Gone were her shorts and top, replaced by a long peach-colored silk nightgown that reached her thighs. Over it, Amanda had tied a matching silk housecoat decorated in Chinese symbols and flowers. The heart-shaped necklace that Kurt had bought her hung placidly around her neck.

Amanda's face had changed too. She no longer wore the dark crimson lipstick and lip-gloss on her lips or the dark eyeliner around her eyes. Instead her face was almost bare. Except for a little gloss, eye shadow and coral blush, her face was natural. Of course, Amanda would never let anyone see her without makeup. Unknown to many, It was Newton's fourth law. Adjusting her gown, Amanda turned to Rogue her expression one of seriousness. 

"Rogue, I called you over her because I think I may have a solution to Kurt and I's problem."

"Oh, you mean tha I-run-away-erytime-I-see-you-and-git-a-boner-problem, right?"

Amanda chuckled. "Yea, that problem."

Rogue took of her coat and draped it over a chair. "So wut's yer solution? Does it have anything to do with Victoria's Secret?" she asked indicating the catalog. Amanda blushed and grabbed the notepad and pen. "Yea, it has everything to do with that." Rogue looked at Amanda quizzically. "You're gonna buy yourself sum underwear to feel better?" Amanda shook her head. "Of course not, well yea, and no."

Rogue listened intently. Amanda got comfortable sitting Indian-style on her bed. "Alright, well you know how Kurt runs away every time we get close." Rogue nodded. "Well today, when we were in the pool---" Amanda blushed furiously at the memory. Rogue had to know the truth. "—nude. Well at least I was." Rogue eyes widened slightly.

"You were nude…with Kurt? In the pool?" Rogue repeated. Amanda nodded. "Yep!".

Rogue grinned. "Well pin a rose on yer nose." 

"Yea, but as soon as we got close again he did the whole 'bamf' thing. I swear that sometimes that gets on my nerves. We get so close then he pulls away." Amanda said sullenly. Rogue smiled caringly, "Hey, at least you two kin git close." For proof Rogue held up her gloved hands. Amanda lowered her head. "You're right I shouldn't be complaining."

"No, no you should be complain'n. I'ah mean, if I'ah had a boyfriend------" 

"You mean like that cute French guy…Remy?" Amanda asked innocently.

Rogue blushed three shades deeper than Amanda had. "That swamp Rat is nowt my boyfriend." Amanda looked skeptical. "He's not." Rogue insisted. 

"Uh huh." Rogue crossed her arms the blush still on her cheeks. 

"Well do ya want me to elp you or nowt?"

Amanda sobered quickly. "Yea, I'm sorry." Rogue only grunted in response. She was now in a comfortable position sprawled across the bed. Studying the catalog her eyes never left the pages, "So you want Kurt to pop your cherry huh?

For Amanda time seemed to slow down. Cherry…that word. Inside her stomach did a sickening lurch as a cluster of memory from her past resurfaced.


	8. Old memories seldom fade pt1

{Flashback: Amanda age 5}

          Small rays of night filtered through her bedroom window. All the lights were off. Huddling up into the corner, she tried to make herself invisible. Invisible so that **he **would find her, wouldn't see her, wouldn't touch her. Her one wish was that God would give her the power of invisibility, and night after night, she prayed for that power. It never came, but **he** always came.  

          Quiet, yes, if she were quiet maybe he wouldn't find her. It was a lie she told herself, a comforting lie, but a lie nonetheless, he always came no matter what she did or how quiet she was. Squeezing her glowworm closer to her, she waited. She could hear his footsteps echoing down the hall. He was coming for her. Her small body trembled and a small trail of snot snaked it's way down her nose. The footsteps grew closer, louder. 

          Looking toward the window, Amanda listened to the sounds of the cool Mississippi night. Without warning, her bladder suddenly let itself loose. Amanda felt the wetness seep into her pink "princess" pajamas. The odor was strong as the pink coloring of her bottoms darkened. A tear rolled down her cheek. She was in for it now. Daddy did not like "bad little girls" and she had just done a bad thing. The door had opened quickly and an impossibly tall black shadow loomed over her. Amanda knew better than to run, he would catch her and her punishment would be worse.

          With shining eyes wet with tears Amanda looked to the impossibly tall figure. Daddy…he was daddy. And daddy punished "bad little girls". DADDY a word Amanda associated with two things… pain and blood. Lots of blood, there was always lots of blood. Sometimes Amanda closed her eyes and pretended it was red kool-aid, but the smell was not like kool-aid. Kool-aid was fresh, fruity, and good. Blood was bad, thick, and it hurt. There was always blood; this time would be no different. 

          Daddy sniffed and stared down at the trembling child. The little bitch had pissed on herself again. Well she'd just have to be taught a lesson, wouldn't she? Gripping the belt tighter in his hand, he stalked toward her. Amanda could smell the alcohol from her spot on the floor. The scent of her piss and his breath was enough to make her want to hurl. But she couldn't do that, if she did Daddy would hit her with the big black snake.

          "You little shit; you pissed on the damned floor again didn't you?"

Amanda hugged her glowworm tighter, the trail of snot inching its ways past her nose into her mouth. Daddy grabbed her by her collar and lifted into the air. His breath was even worse up close. She could tell he'd been drinking what he called "moon shine". Amanda had seen the moon shine and it was pretty, Daddy's "moonshine" was not. It was like water only with a worse smell and came in a clear bottle.

          "I assed you a question. Answer me you little twit," Daddy, screamed shaking her roughly. Amanda felt like her dolly "Rosemary" when she shook her hair to clean the ticks off her.  Letting her head drop she replied shakily, "I-I peed on myself D-d-daddy." With disgust, he dropped her to the ground. 

          "You tink I'ah stupid you little twit, huh? I see your piss on my goddamned floor. You think I'm stupid don't ya?" 

Amanda cowered, "No, D-daddy I no tink you tupid." Daddy continued as if he hadn't heard her, "Well remember what daddy says about bad little girls?" Amanda nodded, she knew far too well. "Bad girls' haff to be punished don't they?" Amanda did not move. Her father's boot hit her squarely in the side causing her to fall over. 

"Answer mey", he screamed.

"Y-yes daddy."

Taking another swig of the Jack Daniels Daddy smiled menacingly. "And you been a bad girl and I'ma haff to punish you." Amanda's body instinctively went into a fetal crouch. Picking her up again Daddy looked into her small cherubic face. But he knew better the little shit wasn't an angel just like that cunt mother of hers that had run off. Yea, he'd admit she had been beautiful. Hell, the most beautiful woman he's ever known. But she'd ran off just like all the others, and to top it all off she'd left him with a fucking baby.

Yea, she'd run off as soon as the little shit had been born. The bitch. He swore that when he found her he'd beat her till she was black and blue. But until then he would have to settle for the pissy little shit he held in front of him. "Look at me!" Shyly one of Amanda's eyes peeked open. 

Her father's massive grungy face smeared with dirt and a mass of overgrown facial hair leered at her. From the corner of her eye she could see the oil and dirt stains on his blue overalls. They were the old pair, she could tell because the nametag said "LEROY" in big capital letters. To Amanda her father was ugly…an ugly monster, A monster with bloodshot eyes, bad breath, and crooked teeth. Like the monster in "Little red riding hood" only scarier. 

Trying to concentrate on anything but the awful smell surrounding her and Daddy's face Amanda found herself thinking of her mother. She had never truly seen her mothers face. Daddy said it was because "the cunt (his word for mommy)" left after Amanda was born. When he was about three Amanda had "dreamed up" a pretend mommy for herself. 

Her name was Darlene, the woman who worked at the convenient store down the road from her father's auto-shop. Darlene was beautiful, tall with butterscotch skin and sandy brown hair. She had the most beautiful smile Amanda had ever seen. Yes, this had to be her mother, the beautiful woman with the 20-watt smile at the store. 

Sometimes she would go into the store and Darlene would give her a free piece of candy and say, "Well hey sugarplum". Her father never called her sugarplum, only "little shit", "lil twit", "pisser" and things like that. Amanda did not like those names; she could tell that they were bad names, for bad girls. She didn't want to be a bad girl she just couldn't help it. In deep thought of her 'mother', Amanda didn't notice her fathers hard stare at the puddle of urine she had made.

Nor did she see the sinister smirk the spread across his face. Roughly, Daddy shook Amanda until everything around her looked blurry. When everything came back into focus, Amanda saw her father smiling at her. That wasn't good, Daddy never smiled unless he was hurting her.

"So you wanna piss on my floor eh? Then you made the mess, now you clean it." Grabbing her by her thin neck, he smashed Amanda's face into the pond of wet piss. Crying out Amanda felt the hot urine stinging her eyes and going into her nose. The liquid was in her mouth choking her with its acidy taste. 

"Daddy (gurgle) ple(gurgle)ase stop(spit)!"

Amanda's cries fell on deaf ears. The little shit deserved what he was doing to her. She made the mess now she was cleaning it up. He would teach her one way or another. He was determined that she wouldn't turn out like her whorish mother. In his viselike grip, he twisted her face back and forth until it was completely covered in urine.

Trying to breath was hell to Amanda. Each time she took a breath the yellowish liquid would go down her throat and into her nose causing her to gag. Satisfied, Daddy lifted her up and looked into her soaked face. 

"Now, you gon piss on my floor again?" Amanda shook her head quickly. Beads of snot and piss hit the floor.

"N-no daddy." 

Daddy laughed, "Good, now you stay here and tink bout wat you did." He released her and she fell into a crumpled heap on the floor. Quickly Amanda rubbed the burning liquid from her eyes. 

"You gon sleep in here tonight wit ya piss. See how ya like dat." Taking another swig from the almost empty bottle (his sixth that night), he cast one more look at the sniveling toddler. On second thought, he poured the rest of the liquid onto her head. Amanda felt the second cold wetness of the night drench her. She didn't dare look up. She heard daddy laugh and walk out of the room, his boots echoing down the hall. 

When she was sure, he was gone Amanda scooted as far away from the piss as she could. She was wet and the room smelled bad. Her clothes were now cold and damp. Snuggling up by the moonlit window, she laid her head on the bare wood floor. Her glowworm still glowed an eerie green in her arms. 

"I hate you Daddy," she whispered, knowing that if her father had been close enough to hear he would have beaten her. Amanda knew she could only say those things when he wasn't around. Her head hurt she didn't want to think anymore. Instead, she turned over and gazed at the bright stars. Sniffling, she watched the brightness of the star until sleep overtook her. Her dreams were filled with images of Darlene. 

Darlene was never a bad girl. 


End file.
